He Doesn’t Mean To Call Me Names

“I know he loves me I just know it he doesn’t mean to call me stupid, fat, or ugly he is just frustrated and so much is going on at work that I have to be here for him things will get better when he gets work under control I just know it.”  When someone we love use words like stupid, ugly, idiot, fat, and other cutting words you are a victim of emotional abuse.  If someone you love use humiliation and criticism against you that is emotional abuse.   When someone we love uses these types of nasty words or gestures we don’t always acknowledge it because for some reason we don’t recognize it as abuse initially.  There are truly times when our loved one intends no harm.  There are times when someone abuses you because they are angry for various reasons, for instance in the statement above “he is just frustrated and so much is going on at work” or your loved one could have lost a job, they may be in debt, or they may be experiencing an illness.  Sometimes everyday life can bring on anger because that person does not know how to deal with it other than lash out on others.  Then there are other times when you loved one is purposely vicious and wants to intentionally cause harm.  These types of abuser seek to control by name calling, using swear words, and attempting to mental manipulate their loved ones.  These types of abusers are insecure and they believe if they tear you down it would build them up. Victims of abuse often make excuses for the offender such as “He didn’t mean it” or “He just talking don’t take him seriously” or “What he was trying to say was”.  It’s time to stop making excuses for your abuser.  Victims of abuse believe that these offenses are temporary and they truly believe that with time their love one will change.  Some believe that they have the power to change them.  Victims it is time to make a change know you self worth love yourself enough to seek professional help.  Know that your worth so much more, establish what you want our of your life, and determine what is worth dealing with in your relationship and what is not.  In an article titled, Walking on Eggshells by Joyce Morley Ed, D, “Anyone capable of slapping you around emotionally can also slap you around physically it’s the gateway to greater pain (2010)”